Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Sniff...Sniff...

Ok, so I'm sitting at my computer at 11:11pm on a Tuesday evening and I'm trying my hardest not to cry. My first mistake is that I'm listening to country music, which always get me. Right now "My Wish" by Rascal Flats is on, I love them. My second mistake is that I'm reading random people's blogs and everyone has such awesome things going on, it makes me emotional. I just read one blog about a woman who had a baby a couple days ago, and he was in the NICU, and a friend of mine is having a baby girl soon, and her sister-in-law gave her all these clothes, and i was looking at someone's wedding pictures. And my third mistake is thinking about my children and the start of school. I don't know why it's killing me this year, but i'm so sad about my kids leaving me. McKee is getting so old, and is more than 1/2 way to his mission, and starting 5th grade. I just can't believe it! Seth is going to start school, and for as much as he's driven me crazy the last 5 years, I love him so much. I can still remember sitting there in the hospital right after he was born, just like it happened yesterday. I'm starting to get these overwhelming feelings of guilt and inadequacy. I'm sure that I didn't do enough with him before he goes off to school forever. I didn't take him to the zoo enough, or the beach or the park, I haven't read him enough stories. I didn't even nurse him long enough when he was a baby. My husband thinks I'm crazy! I'm trying to convince myself that maybe it just means that I love him alot! (It makes me feel better...a little bit) I've been trying to cram all of these fun things into the end of summer. We've really had a lot of fun. On Sunday we took a road trip to Dansville, NY to see the annual Balloon Festival. They launched about 40 hot air balloons from an airplane field. It was so beautiful, and the kids loved it! And then on Monday, Labor Day, Mike had to work all day, so I took the kids to the beach. They had so much fun, we were there for almost 3 hours! I need to make sure I take them more often, who knew they'd love it so much! A couple weeks ago we went up to Niagara Falls, they also loved that. I guess I need some advice on how to get over this emotional speed hump! I love these guys more than I could have imagined loving someone. Of course I love Mike, he's the best husband I could ever want, but the kids are a close second. I can only hope that they know and can feel how much I love them, and that someday it will be a strength to them in some way. And I hope they don't get embarrassed easily by their sobbing mother as they get on the school bus in a couple days! Brooke is starting her dance class on Monday, and preschool on Tuesday. She is looking forward to school so much that she's asking me just about every day if she has school. Tyler is turning 8 months old tomorrow already! I cannot believe how old he's getting, his little personality is coming out so much now. I love it! Before I know it he's going to be up and running around. He's eating tons of big boy food now! Ok, that's enough of my emotional instablility! :) Please enjoy the pics of our adventures from the last couple weeks!


Our Family in front of Niagara Falls

That is my kind of Hershey kiss! I love chocolate!

Dansville, NY Balloon Festival

McKee, Brooke, and Seth playing in the sand

Catching a wave!!!

Tyler is so cute! (And he wouldn't keep his hat on)
Brooke at her Dance Camp in August!

1 comment:

Crafts for Claire said...

Oh sweet Crystal! You are a great mom! I'm sure it is hard to have your kids go back to school. You do so much for them though, i'm sure they had an awesome summer. And you can still do stuff during the fall and winter...how about a trip to DC?? I love the pictures!